


The Burning in My Bones

by HappyJuicyfruit



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Neglect, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter gets a bit feral, Protective Tony Stark, Sick Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony tries his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyJuicyfruit/pseuds/HappyJuicyfruit
Summary: He was getting used to living with Morgan, and living in the house she had grown up in. He was getting used to the fact that his dad and Pepper were married now, and the fact that he had missed the wedding... despite the promise his dad had made him years ago that Peter would be the best man.He wasn’t bitter about it.Not at all.Or: after the blip, Peter is learning his new place in his father's life. Learning how to be a brother and a step son in a family that is now much bigger than just him and his dad. It’s going well…for the most part. That is, until he gets injected by an unknown substance, and he loses control of all his emotions. Then things go rather terribly.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 64
Kudos: 635
Collections: Irondad Big Bang 2020





	The Burning in My Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely readers! This is my contribution to the Irondad Big Bang! I wrote this so long ago, I'm so glad I get to finally share it. 
> 
> I was partnered up with the lovely tedddylupin on this, who made an adorable painting that you will see partway through the fic, as well as the awesome collage at the beginning :) :) Go [say hi to them on tumblr](https://tedddylupin.tumblr.com/) and tell them how cute their art is! 
> 
> Lastly, this fic has some angst in it, particularly surrounding past child neglect, please read the tags and warnings if you have any issues with that. Thanks so much, hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Warnings: Peter gets injected by an unknown toxin and loses control of his emotions. He breaks things/punches people/has a panic attack.  
> A lot of implied/referenced/talking about past neglect, past alcohol problems, mostly about Tony letting Peter down a lot when he was younger.

Peter groaned as his alarm rang, reaching over to bat it off before sitting up and blinking around the room, confused. 

It took him a second before his tired brain clicked. It had been two months, but he still wasn’t used to the new bedroom, in the new house. The new smell, and the sound of suburban New York coming through the windows. 

The sound of his little sister, screaming with joy down the hall as Pepper got her dressed for the day. 

Peter sighed as he slid out of bed, moving to grab his own clothes for the day and heading to the bathroom. 

He was getting used to living with Morgan, and living in the house she had grown up in. He was getting used to the fact that his dad and Pepper were married now, and the fact that he had missed the wedding... despite the promise his dad had made him years ago that Peter would be the best man. 

He wasn’t bitter about it. Not at all. 

Pepper had been pregnant, they’d wanted Morgan to grow up in a stable home, and Peter… Peter hadn’t existed, at the time. 

Wouldn’t exist for another 4 more years. 

It made sense that they had moved on. 

They’d moved out of the tower, to a house in the homey part of Manhattan. They’d taken all of Peter’s stuff, rearranged it in the room he was in now. 

It felt more like a shrine than his old room. 

It felt like they weren’t expecting Peter to ever- 

Peter shook his head, pushing the thoughts out of his mind as he grabbed his bag and headed out to the kitchen. 

He was getting used to it. He was adapting. His dad was still here. He had an adorable little sister now. Pepper had practically been his step-mom before anyway.

It was all good. 

“Morning Pete,” his dad said, flopping pancakes onto a platter. “Just one more sec, and breakfast will be ready.” 

“Okay,” Peter sat at the table, the one that sat beside the large window facing the back garden. Every time he did this he felt like he was a character out of a Jane Austen novel, or something. Sitting and looking out at the birds fluttering in the bird bath. 

He’d never seen very much nature in New York before. It was nice. 

Morgan came running into the room a moment later, ruining the silence. And the Jane Austen vibe. 

“Peter!” Morgan cheered, running up to hug him. Peter didn’t have time to hug her back before she was running away, hugging their dad. “Daddy!” 

“Morning, Princess,” Dad said, hoisting her up and placing her on his hip. “Pancakes?” 

“My favourite!” Morgan beamed. Because of course it was. They had pancakes all the time, Peter was actually starting to get a bit sick of them. Something he never thought he would think. 

But it was one of the only foods Morgan was willing to eat so… this was what they ate. 

His dad spent the next 15 minutes focusing on making sure Morgan ate, and making sure she didn’t end up with her clothes covered in syrup. 

She was five. It happened anyway. 

Morgan and their dad went to change her shirt. Peter didn’t have time to wait for them. Since they’d moved, it took an extra long time to get to school now. 

Which was fine. Gave him extra time to do homework. 

He left without saying goodbye to anyone. It wasn’t new. He was almost 16, he’d been finding his own way to school for the last two years anyway. 

So he didn’t know why it hurt- 

Peter closed his eyes and took a breath. He was fine. It was fine. He was just getting used to it. He walked to the train, keeping his breaths even, and sat down by himself, prepared for the long trek to school. 

He tried to focus on the things that were the same. Lab nights were the same, after Morgan went to bed. Dinners were the same, other than Morgan taking up most of the time to talk about her day. Ned was the same, happier even, now that his parents had officially divorced, and had been for the past three years. Aunt May was the same, since she was blipped too. Peter, May, and Ned. They all knew what it was like. They were all the same. It was fine, just an adjustment period. 

Patrol was the same, too. Same rules, same curfew, same annoying bad guys.

School hadn’t changed that much either. 

It was all going to be fine. 

— 

Peter was getting used to school without MJ. The space she left behind probably wasn’t even noticed by a lot of people. She hadn’t talked all that much, and her silent judgement had been ignored by most of the student body… but Peter felt it. He felt her missing presence like a sharp pain in his chest. Every time he turned, expecting to see her sitting next to him, a book in hand and a sharp glimmer in her eye… she wasn’t there. 

But he still had Ned, so… he was all good. 

Flash was even less of a dick now. Maybe it was because half of their year was a group of kids they didn’t know; or, maybe it was because he’d finally learned there was more to life than the shit that went on inside these high school walls. Whatever it was, he kept to himself now... mostly. He only made half as many jerk remarks, at least, and they were usually directed at the new kids. 

Peter mostly ignored the new kids in their grade. 

Although, there was  _ one _ new kid. One who had been blipped but whose family had moved to New York in the years between. His name was Harley, and he was… 

Peter wasn’t sure what to think about what he was. He’d never found another boy cute before but… Harley’s curly hair, his constantly amused eyes, that grin? 

Yeah. Harley was  _ cute _ . 

Definitely the best thing to come out of the blip. 

—

Peter waved as Ned walked off the train, slumping in his seat when he was out of sight. Ned only rode the train with him for 5 minutes, Peter still had 25 to go. It took so long to get home now, compared to the tower. 

He pulled out the book for English they were supposed to be reading, shoving in an earphone to drone out the sound of New Yorkers around him. 

Part of him wished he could go on patrol now. Grab his mask out of his bag, and fly over the train and all the smelly people on it. 

But it was Tuesday. And on Tuesday’s, Peter had promised to watch Morgan, while Dad and Pepper finished up meetings and got dinner ready. He was allowed to patrol after dinner, as long as he ate enough and got his homework done. 

Although he usually couldn’t start his homework until  _ after _ dinner, because Morgan stole all of his attention before hand… and his dad always checked before he left, which was a fun new parental thing he was trying out so- 

It was fine. He could patrol after school every other day. It was cool. He didn’t mind spending time with Morgan. 

All good in this hood. 

Or whatever.

—

“Peter, you have to drink the tea, like Daddy does it!” Morgan said, pouring Peter more lukewarm water from her plastic tea pot. 

He didn’t really want to drink the tea. He didn’t want to picture their father drinking it either. 

It tasted like plastic, it probably gave you cancer or something. 

“Why don’t we play something else?” Peter asked, setting his plastic mug aside, “dinosaurs? You could be the pterodactyl that I fly around?” 

Morgan thought about it, and then nodded, a grin on her face. 

That’s how their dad found them, ten minutes later, Peter running around the backyard, with Morgan held high above his head. 

Peter glared when he realized his dad had caught the entire thing on his phone. 

“Okay, my little dino’s, time for dinner.” 

“Not dino, I’m a pterodactyl! And Peter’s a T-Rex!” 

“Oh, really? A lot of arm use for a T-Rex, don’t you think?” 

Morgan frowned, and Peter realized she had no idea what a T-Rex looked like. She’d just agreed that he should be one. 

“Maybe I was a raptor, like in that old movie, Jurassic Park.” 

“What’s Jurassic Park?” 

“A super old movie.” 

Morgan cocked her head, “was it made before Daddy was born?” 

Peter grinned, “no.” 

“So Daddy is older than old?” 

“Yep.” 

“Alright,” Dad cut in, “go get washed up, enough talk!” 

Peter snickered as he and Morgan went to the washroom. Peter helped her wash her hands, water splashing over the sink and onto the floor. 

Oh well, it would dry. 

Dinner was chicken strips with fries and salad. Pepper was still at work, so Dad spent most of the time focusing on Morgan and making sure she ate. Morgan talked about the excitement of preschool the whole time. 

Peter sat, eating his food in silence. He was getting used to it. 

“How was your day, kiddo?” His dad asked, when Morgan was done with her chicken and was now just eating fries. 

Apparently, Morgan was able to eat fries all by herself. 

“It was fine.” 

“Yeah? Learn anything new? How are Ned and MJ?” 

Peter grimaced down at his food, “MJ goes to Yale now, Dad, I told you that.” 

“Right, sorry, sorry, right. How’s, uh, Ned is good though? Meet anyone new, with the whole new school?’ 

Peter’s mind flashed to Harley, who sat at their table and laughed at one of Peter’s jokes today. 

“I know that look, who's the new lucky girl?” 

Peter flushed, “there’s no girl.” 

His dad smirked, “come on, you can tell me. Is she in decathlon with you? That seems to be your type.” 

Yes, Harley was in decathlon. 

No, Peter was not talking to his dad about this. 

He grabbed his plate and stood up, “I’m going to go finish my homework.” 

Dad’s face fell, “Pete, I was just teasing-“ 

“It’s fine,” Peter smiled. “I’ve just got homework. I’ll say goodbye before patrol.” 

“Kid-“

“Daddy, can we watch My Little Pony before bed?” 

His dad turned to Morgan, and Peter left the room. He doubted his dad noticed. 

—

Peter had been having a good day. He’d left home early to grab a breakfast burrito instead of having pancakes again. He’d made Harley laugh not only at lunch, but  _ also _ in Chemistry. He and Ned had made plans over the weekend to binge The Mandelorian. 

Yeah, things were looking up. 

So of course, that’s when a crazy man in a purple jumpsuit, calling himself  _ Uncontrollable _ , had to show up and ruin it. 

The guy had been running around trying to  _ stab _ people, but thankfully Peter had caught him before he’d managed to succeed. 

Which he’d heard a lot of complaints about for the last half hour. 

The guy was some weird acrobatic, car thieving, slippery snake. He hid surprisingly well for a guy in purple, too. So it was taking longer that’s expected to web him up. 

And obviously, Peter couldn’t just let him get away… because then he’d go  _ stab _ someone. 

So of course, as soon as he finally got a good shot, and had the guy partially attached to a wall, his dad had to force a call through and interrupt. 

He didn’t know what the big deal was, Peter had only been avoiding his call for an hour. He was fine. 

“Where  _ are _ you?” His dad snapped at him, his face right there and angry. “You were supposed to be home two hours ago!” 

Peter groaned, “Dad, I’m kind of busy right now-“ 

“Yeah? Busy ignoring my calls?” 

“No, I’m busy- agh!” A sharp pain in his neck had Peter flailing. He grabbed the thing sticking out of his neck and threw it. Karen, thankfully, cleared his dad away so he could see the guy trying to stab him again. He webbed him up, throwing web after web at him until he was fully plastered to the wall, and then sagged against the wall beside him. 

“What was that? Peter, can you hear me? What was that?” His dad’s voice buzzed in his ear. Peter groaned. 

“Nothing dad, I’m fine.” 

“Get home, now.” 

The call ended, and Peter shoved off the wall. 

“Karen, call the-“ 

“The police are already on the way.” 

Great. Peter shot up a web, and swung to the nearest roof. He didn’t have to worry about the purple guy anymore, at least. 

Now he just had to worry about his dad. 

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, but no blood came away. “Hey Karen, what stabbed me?”

“It appears that Uncontrollable stabbed you with a syringe.” 

Peter winced, that didn’t sound good. “A syringe full of what?” 

“Unknown,” Karen said. “Running full body analysis now.” 

Peter waited, fidgeting nervously. He couldn’t go home if he was infected by some sort of unknown disease.” 

“Analysis complete, nothing detected.” 

“Oh,” Peter perked up, “so I’m fine?” 

“Your current levels show that you are in good health.” 

“Sweet, okay,” Peter took a running jump, whooping as he flew across the New York streets. 

He swung most of the way home, and then changed back into his normal clothes a few blocks from his house. He didn’t want anyone figuring out where Spider Man lived. 

He felt really good again as he made his way up the front steps. It had been a good day, and he’d caught a guy before he’d hurt anyone. And he’d conveniently missed dinner, so he could head straight to his room to get started on his homework. 

All was well in the world. 

“Peter!” His dad snapped at him as soon as he opened the door, “where the hell have you been?” 

He had grabbed him, and was checking him over for injuries, before Peter could shut the door. Peter rolled his eyes and slammed the door, ignoring the sharp look he got from his father from the action. 

“I’m  _ fine _ , Dad,” Peter grumbled, crossing his arms. 

Dad gave him one last look over, before he crossed his arms as well, “okay, so you’re just ignoring my calls for no reason, huh? Just making me worry over nothing?” 

Peter knew he would usually use this moment to apologize. Say he was sorry, and then try to make it right between them. He was late. He had ignored his dad. He was definitely breaking the patrol rules. 

But for some reason, anger boiled up inside of him; and when he opened his mouth, that wasn’t what came out. 

“Oh my god, Dad, just leave me alone!” 

Dad’s eyebrows rose, “ _ excuse _ me? You come home hours late, miss dinner, and then sass me? What’s your plan here, bud, cause it looks to me like you’re  _ trying _ to get grounded.” 

“I’m not five years old, I’m not  _ Morgan _ , I can look after myself!” Peter shouted. 

His dad took a step forward, “kid, what is going on?” 

He tried to put a hand on Peter’s shoulder, but Peter shrugged out of it, and pushed past his dad. He didn’t need to deal with this right now. 

“Where are you going?” 

“My room.” 

“Well your- hey, I’m  _ talking _ ,” Peter didn’t stop, and he heard his dad following after him when he started going upstairs. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you are grounded, kiddo, you hear me? You come home right after school, for a week a least! No friends, no patrolling, just home.” 

“Whatever,” Peter said, and then slammed his bedroom door on his dad’s face. 

—

Peter felt his bad mood churning inside of him the moment he woke up. He stomped his way through grabbing his clothes, and using the washroom. He grabbed his bag hard enough, that one of the straps almost fell right off. 

He huffed his way down the stairs, glaring at his dad when he tried to give him a smile in the kitchen. He didn’t watch as his dad’s smile fell of his face, he was too distracted trying to avoid Morgan’s morning hug. 

“Peter!” 

“Not today, Morgan,” Peter said, gently pushing her around him. Her face scrunched up in confusion, but she was running past him to hug their dad a second later. 

“Morning, Pete,” Pepper said, walking into the kitchen, her eyes flickering between Peter and Dad, “how’d you sleep?” 

Peter shrugged. 

“... What do you want for breakfast? Cereal? Eggs?” 

Oh, so now that he’d shown a little bit of annoyance, they were trying to placate him with breakfast foods?

Why hadn’t this been offered to him days ago, when he’d been doing everything he could just to please them? 

Fuck this. 

He didn’t say anything as he turned around and walked out to the front door. He didn’t turn around when his dad called after him either. 

They could have breakfast without him. They had enough practice at it. 

— 

Peter slammed his locker shut, grunting in annoyance when the action left a dent. Superpowers were so annoying sometimes. 

He shrugged his bag over his shoulder, and made his way to first period. He had hoped his bad mood would improve on the way to school, but it hadn’t. It felt like there was an angry black cloud in his head, making everything dark and foggy. 

It made him want to punch something. 

“Hey, Peter,” Ned smiled at him as Peter sat down. 

Peter grunted. 

“So I was thinking, this weekend-” 

“I can’t make it.” 

Ned deflated beside him, “what? Why not? But baby Yoda!” 

“I know, my dad’s being a dick,” Peter dropped his notebook onto his desk with a loud smack, not caring that it made the girl sitting in front of him jump. “I’m grounded.”

“Well… what did you do? Maybe we can talk him out of it.” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Peter said, leaning back in his chair, “I was late getting home last night, but I was busy, you know, working?” He gave Ned a meaningful look. 

Ned frowned, but he nodded, “Mr. Stark has always been understanding of your…  _ work _ , before, have you tried talking to him?” 

Peter opened his mouth to answer, but Flash chimed in before he could. 

“Why do you even have a job, anyway? You’re, like, a  _ billionaire _ . If  _ my _ dad was Tony Stark-” 

“Well your dad  _ isn’t _ Tony Stark, so why don’t you shut the fuck up and mind you own business?” 

Flash leaned back, and hurt flashed across his face. Peter didn’t care though, it wasn’t like they were friends. It wasn’t like a few months of Flash being not as much of a dick made his dickish ways okay. 

It wasn’t like he had  _ any idea _ what Peter was going through. 

“Wow, city boy,” Harley said, leaning back in his chair, and assessing Peter with new eyes, “didn’t know you had it in you.” 

A brief flicker of… something, ignited in Peter’s chest, but it was quickly overpowered by annoyance. He hadn’t done anything to impress Harley, the other boy just happened to be here. 

Peter shrugged, and turned to his notebook. Flash and Harley finally turned back around when the teacher walked in. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Ned whispered a minute later. 

Peter shrugged, “I’m fine.” 

—

Peter took in a breath, feeling his muscles relax as he swung between the buildings. He knew what his dad had said, that he needed to be home right after school, but he didn’t think anyone would notice if he was half an hour late. Maybe an hour. What was a curfew compared to keeping the people of New York safe?

Besides, they wouldn’t even notice. 

The flash of his dad’s incoming call made Peter groan. He’d only lasted 10 minutes. 

He declined, hoped that maybe he could-

The next call was forced through. 

“Peter, home.  _ Now _ .”

“But I was-“

“What part of grounded did you not understand?”

Peter groaned, “fine, whatever.” 

He hung up as he heard his dad's sharp inhale to say something else. He didn’t really care what he had to say. 

He slammed the front door shut behind him, marched past his father, and slammed the door to his bedroom too. Just because his dad could force him to stay home, did not mean his dad could force him to like it. 

He finished his homework quickly, even got ahead in 2 courses, and when he heard the sound of dishes and pots being moved around in the kitchen, he shoved headphones on and glared at the ceiling.

He heard the call for dinner, but he just turned his music up louder. He heard the knock, but he turned it up louder. 

He glared at his father when he physically pulled the headphones off Peter’s head. 

“Jesus, kid, you're going to hurt your ears with this.”

“They heal.” Peter said, turning his gaze back to the ceiling. 

His dad sighed. “Come down for dinner, Pete. I made tacos.”

One of Peter's favorites, another food bribe then. 

“Not hungry.”

“... okay, want to come down, watch a movie with us? We could watch Star-“

“No thanks.”

“... buddy-“

Peter rolled over, his back to his dad. 

“Okay,” his dad whispered. A few seconds later, he heard the door to his room close. 

Peter turned on his back, and found the earphones had been placed on his bed again. 

Peter threw them across the room. 

—

The next day was the same. He stormed out of the house without even going to the kitchen in the morning. He ignored Flash and Harley, and even turned away from Ned’s rambling at lunch. 

Everyone was being annoying and selfish and just… driving him  _ insane _ ! He felt anger burning in his bones every minute of the day, and it would bubble to the surface at the smallest comment. 

Peter didn’t know what was happening, but he wanted to break everything he touched. He wanted to throw his phone across the classroom when he got a text from his dad reminding him to come straight home. He wanted to flip the table when the teacher told them their homework. 

He kind of wanted to punch Ned in the face when he called after him, asking Peter to wait up. 

Peter went straight home, like he was supposed to, fully planning on going back to his room and finishing his homework. He was stopped in the front hallway by Morgan, who was waiting for him at the bottom of the staircase holding a teapot. 

“Have a tea party with me, Petey!” She said at the sight of him, “it might help you feel better!”

Help him feel better. So the parents had told her Peter wasn’t  _ feeling _ well. Peter rolled his eyes, not being grounded would make him feel a lot better if that was what they wanted. 

“Please?” Morgan said when he didn’t reply, staring up at him with pleading eyes. Peter sighed. 

“Fine.”

They set up in her room, the small table covered with plastic plates and plastic foods. 

He stared out the window as she talked to her dolls. 

“Petey! Petey!” 

Peter zoned back in, blinking down at his sister, “yeah?”

“You’re coming to my birthday, right? Daddy said you would be okay by the weekend for my birthday! Do you think you’ll feel better by then?”

Peter stared at his sister until he heard a loud crack, and he looked down. The plastic cup was cracked in half, water poured over his hand. 

Peter stared at that instead. 

Dad had… they only wanted to get Peter in a better mood so he would go to a Morgan’s birthday without complaint. It wasn’t because they cared how Peter felt at all… 

He couldn’t even remember what they’d done for his last birthday. 

“Peter?”

Peter looked up at his sister, watching him hopefully in her pink sweater. Why did she need Peter to come to her birthday? She already had  _ everything _ . 

He walked out of the room without saying anything, throwing the cup in the garbage on the way out. 

—

The sting in Peter’s fist was almost reassuring. Everything else about him for the past three days had either been numb or burning, but this sting… the tightness in his knuckles as he punched the bully in the face not once, twice, but three times. 

It made something in his chest loosen. 

Arms around him made him stop, and it was only when he was pulled back and away that he realized it was Harley holding onto him. He pulled back, away, but Harley grabbed onto his arm. 

“What the  _ hell _ was that?” 

“He called Ned fat,” Peter said with a shrug. Harley’s eyes narrowed on him, and if Peter wasn’t mistaken, it was mostly concern on his face. 

Last week, Peter would have been over the moon to have Harley’s attention like this. Right now though, he didn’t care. He pulled away, hard enough that Harley couldn’t hold on. 

“Peter… what-” 

“Mr. Parker,” a teacher placed a hand on his shoulder, steering him in the direction of the principal’s office. Peter glanced back one last time to see a concerned Harley, and a worried Ned, staring after him. 

Peter turned away. He never got to hear what Harley was going to say. 

\-- 

His dad looked livid when he walked into the office, but he still managed to talk the principal down from expulsion to a one day suspension. 

Peter knew though, when he slammed his car door shut afterwards, that a suspension was not going to be the end of it. 

“What were you  _ thinking _ ?” His dad snarled, eyes on the road and fingers white on the steering wheel. “You could have seriously hurt that kid. You could have  _ killed _ him. Is that what you want on your conscience? Do you want people to find out your Spider Man because you put another student in the fucking hospital?” 

Peter slouched down in his chair, “I know what I’m doing, he’s fine. He’ll get a black eye and a busted lip. Whatever.” 

“Peter, you could have given him  _ brain damage _ -” 

“He deserved it! He’s always picking on Ned-” 

“No one deserves that! He’s a kid, same as you, you can’t go around beating people up just because you can!” 

Peter rolled his eyes, and turned his face to the window. His dad kept talking, but Peter didn’t listen. He only paid attention again when the car came to an abrupt stop. 

“Go straight to your room. I’ll come deal with you more later, after I pick Morgan up from preschool.” 

Peter grunted, grabbing his bag and slamming his door shut. 

\--

Peter tried to do his school work, but he couldn’t concentrate. Music made him want to smash his phone against the wall. TV made him want to punch the screen. 

He ended up lying on his bed, fuming at the ceiling. His hands clenched and unclenched on his chest. His eyes burned. 

He listened to his dad bring Morgan home. Give her a snack. Play with her outside. Read her a story. 

He listened as Pepper came home and kissed them both on the head. 

He listened at the happy little family of three, and felt the blood in his veins ignite, until he felt like he was on fire. 

Peter wasn’t even fully sure what he was doing, when he reached out for the lamp, but he felt the satisfaction when he smashed against the wall. He picked up the book on his nightstand next, ripping it in half with ease. 

Next the whole nightstand was flying across the room. 

“Peter!” His dad was there all of a sudden, in his room, holding his arm, “are you okay? What- what happened?” 

“I’m fine,” Peter snarled, jerking away. “Just leave me alone!” 

His dad frowned, his eyes moving between Peter, and the broken nightstand that had left a dent in his wall.    
  


“Did you just throw that across the room?”

Peter crossed his arms, turned away. 

“Pete, what is going on, kid? Talk to me,” his dad leaned forward, tried to catch his eye. “Getting into fights? Breaking things? Keeping secrets? This is like when you got bitten all over again-” 

“How the fuck would you know?” Peter asked, turning to his father. “You weren’t  _ there _ . I was living with Ben and May for most of that year, you weren’t around for the bite.” 

His dad took a step back, his brow creased deep in concern and surprise, “I just want to make sure you’re okay, Pete.” 

“I’m great,” Peter turned away again. There was silence between them, tense. “I want to go to May’s.” 

“Okay… I can call her, maybe on Saturday-” 

“No, I want to go to May’s  _ now _ .” 

“Buddy-” His dad tried to say, but Peter wasn’t listening. He was already moving around, shoving clothes in his bag. “Okay, I’ll give you a ride now.” 

“Don’t bother.”

“Okay, I’ll, uh, call you tomorrow. See what time you want to get picked up.” 

Peter didn’t answer. He finished packing, and shouldered past his father on his way out the door. 

His dad didn’t call after him this time. Peter didn’t expect him to. 

—

Peter spent the walk to May’s apartment seething. His dad only cared if Peter was causing trouble. Breaking something, or punching someone. He didn’t fucking say anything last week when Peter quietly ate dinner without saying anything. He hadn’t said anything when Peter’s grades slipped from high 90’s to high 80’s. 

He didn’t fucking care about anything but Morgan. And the  _ Stark _ reputation. 

May had the door open for him before Peter even knocked, which meant his dad had called ahead. He didn’t mind though, because the next minute Peter was in her arms, and he felt the tension in him finally let go. 

The burning in his veins receded… for now. 

May set him up on the couch with an old movie and a tub of ice cream. They leaned against each other until the credit’s scrolled, and then May wordlessly put on another film and they went right back to it. 

It was the calmest Peter felt all week. 

After the movies, and another few hugs, Peter went to bed in the bedroom he’d had in his Aunt’s apartment since he was a child. He spent a lot of time here, between his dad’s busy job, and his work as Iron Man. May had wanted that last connection to her sister, and Peter clung to the last thing he really had of his mother. 

Sometimes, it felt like it was just the two of them. Against everything. 

Especially when Ben died, and his dad had still spent  _ so much _ time as Iron Man. So much time  _ away-  _

Peter pushed the thoughts to the side. He was in May’s house. He was content, in his childhood room. His blood wasn’t boiling, and his eyes weren’t stinging, and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

He hoped in the morning, everything would be okay again. 

—

Peter woke up, and sighed in relief when he didn’t immediately feel rage bubbling up inside of him. He stretched in bed. Smiled to himself when he pulled out some of his old clothes he’d left here a long time ago to put on. A sweatshirt that reminded him of better days with Ned. When the two of them hadn’t had to worry about anything but what the next Star Wars movie might bring. 

For some reason, that thought brought tears to his eyes. He missed his friend, and had a deep ache in his stomach just at the thought of it. And with Ned, came thoughts of MJ, who Peter still hadn’t seen since the blip. And Harley, who probably thought he was insane now, after he’d punched that guy yesterday. 

And god, what had he been thinking? He’d never lost control like that. He could have- he could have seriously hurt someone, just because he was a little mad?

Peter was having a hard time breathing, his chest tight, and his hands shaking. His eyes were clouded with tears, and Peter couldn’t even see the sweatshirt he was holding anymore. 

Fuck. What was wrong with him?

“Peter?” May called. Peter glanced up to see her standing in his doorway, her mouth twisted in a concerned frown. Peter didn’t hesitate to fall into her arms. She rubbed his back, just like she always had. Peter pushed his face into her shoulder. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m sure you and your dad will work everything out.” 

Just like that, the ache vanished and the spark of anger was back. Peter pulled away from her arms. He didn’t want her touch anymore. 

“What are you talking about?” Peter asked, angrily rubbing his tears away. “I’m not upset because of my dad.” 

May hesitated, but then tried to reach for him, “oh honey, it’s okay. I know you two have a bit of a complicated-” 

Peter shoved her hand away. “It’s not complicated. He doesn’t care about me, I’m over it.” 

“Peter, your dad  _ loves  _ you-” 

“No, he doesn’t!” Peter snapped, before stepping back and rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. “He doesn’t! Why doesn’t anyone else see it? If he really fucking cared, he would have- arg!” 

He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t want to deal with this. He had come here to get away from his dad, and his stupid perfect family. May wasn’t supposed to bring it up. May was supposed to be with him - him and May. Like always. Like it had been when his mom died, and when Ben died, and when his dad had been taken and Peter had thought- 

Peter ignored the burn in his eyes, the tears on his face, as he grabbed his bag and left May’s apartment. He heard May shouting after him, but he didn’t care. 

He didn’t fucking care about anything anymore. 

—

His suit was at the bottom of his bag. It was 11 am on a Friday morning, but he’s sure there was someone he could find doing.. Something. 

He just needed to let off some steam. That would stop the tightness of his skin. The burning of his blood. 

Peter swung between the buildings, his eyes on the road, but he didn’t see anything. An incoming call from May lit up, but Peter told Karen to block all incoming calls instead of answering. 

He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Talking never did anything. 

Peter landed on a rooftop, kicking a beer can off the side in frustration. This was New York City, there had to be someone  _ somewhere _ doing something bad. Even if it was the middle of the day! 

He clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and listened. A moment later he heard it. The sound of a woman screaming for help. 

Peter took a running leap off of the building, swinging to the sound, and found an old woman, leaning against a cement wall and shaking, as a man ran away holding a purse that was clearly not his. 

It didn’t take long to pin the man down. He didn’t look all that scared to have Spider Man pushing him to the ground though. 

“Take the bag,” the man sneered, throwing it to the side, “web me up. I’ll be back on the street by tonight, though, and you can’t be everywhere, Spidey. Some of us are just trying to make a living here.” 

“Off of old lady’s purses?” 

“She’s probably an old hag anyway-“ 

The man’s face wasn’t so smug with blood running down it. He wasn’t so fucking smug when his eyes widened, and he tried to raise his hands, but it made no difference- because the blood in Peter’s veins was thrumming, and churning, and on fucking fire- so Peter just kept hitting and hitting and hitting and- 

“-ter, hey! You with me?” 

Peter blinked. He was sprawled back, curled in familiar metal arms. The man he’d been hitting was lying motionless in front of him, a pool of blood around his head. 

“Wha- what happened?” Peter looked around. He hadn’t- he would never hurt someone that bad- he didn’t- His chest felt tight, his eyes blurred. “Did I- did I-“ 

“An ambulance is on the way. We’re not going to be here when they get here.” 

Then Peter was being lifted up and away. He stared at the man the whole time. 

He couldn’t breath. 

His dad landed somewhere quiet and private. Peter pulled off his mask instantly, gasping for breath as he leaned against a wall. 

It was only when the dark patches in his vision cleared that he realized where they were. Their old penthouse in Stark Tower. 

Peter felt himself frowning, as he looked around. It looked the same. 

“Okay,” his dad put himself into Peter’s line of sight, cutting off his view of his old home. “No more ‘I’m fine’, tell me what is going on with you. Right now.” 

Peter blinked at him, “huh?” 

His dad’s brows rose, “Peter, you just-“ 

“You said you sold this place.” 

A pause. “What?” 

“You said you sold the penthouse. You sold it, and moved to the house, and that’s why we can’t live here anymore.” 

Dad looked around, “I never said- we moved because this wasn’t a good place to raise kids. That’s not- Peter, you just lost control and almost killed a man-“ 

“To raise kids, or to raise Morgan?” Peter asked. The tightness in his skin was back. His fingers curled. 

His dad was looking at him like he was insane. “Peter.  _ Focus _ . You just  _ punched- _ “ 

“Who  _ cares _ about that? Answer the question!” 

“Who-  _ I _ care about that!  _ You _ should care about that!” 

Peter scoffed, shoving off the wall, and shoving past his father, “you don’t care, you just don’t want your reputation ruined.” 

“I care,” he grabbed Peter’s arm, “because you’re my son, you’re spiraling right now, and I-“ 

Peter jerked away, “stop it! Stop pretending! You don’t care about me, you only care about Morgan!” 

His dad raised his hands, placating him. That just made Peter more angry. “Pete, that’s not true. I care about you. I  _ love _ you.” 

“No, you don’t! You love Morgan!” 

“Where is this coming from? I love you both equally! When have I  _ ever _ acted like I love Morgan more than I love you? Huh? Never. I love you both-“

Peter laughed, dark and bitter, “both the same? We’re equal? That’s what you’re going with? ‘Cause that’s fucking  _ bullshit _ . Tell me, Dad, what are we doing for Morgan’s 6th birthday?” 

“I-“ his dad frowned, “we’re having a party-“ 

“Yeah, a Disney princess, blow out tea party. All her preschool friends. All the friends and family, coming to celebrate Morgan. Now, can you remember what we did for  _ my _ 6th birthday?” 

His dad’s face pinched, “... Pete-“ 

“What, can’t remember?” Peter sneered, “maybe it was because you were fucking  _ drunk _ !” 

His dad ran a hand over his forehead, “... kid, I-“ 

“You what? Forgot how you showed up late, drunk, made a scene, and then left early? Or what about my 8th birthday, when I was sitting by mom’s hospital bed, and Aunt May and Uncle Ben were the only ones  _ there _ !”

There were tears streaming down Peter’s face, and everything else was kind of out of focus, but he didn’t care. He didn’t fucking want to feel anything anymore. 

“Remember my 9th, when you stayed for 5 fucking minutes until you flew off as Iron Man? Or 10th, when-“ 

“Okay, Okay I get it.” His dad held his hands up, “I wasn’t there for you when you were a kid as much as I wanted to be-“ 

“Don’t act like it wasn’t your choice! You didn’t want to be there!”

“No, Peter, that was never-“ 

“No!” He didn’t know where the lamp came from, but suddenly he was throwing it. And the table. And the couch- and - everything was blurring, and his bones were aching, and his skin was on fire, and-

“Friday!” he heard his dad shout, but Peter didn’t want to listen to him anymore, he didn’t want to do anything!

“Peter, Peter, hey!” 

“Shut up! Just leave me alone!” 

“I can’t do that bud, not right now,” his dad stepped forward, and Peter tried to shove him away. The suit was the only reason he couldn’t. His dad grabbed his hands before Peter could try again. “Just breath, okay? You’re- you’re having some sort of panic attack. You need to breathe through it-“ 

“No, what do you know? You don’t know  _ anything _ !” 

“I know, okay? I hear you loud and clear - but I don’t want you to hurt yourself-“ 

“No! You  _ don’t _ know! You’re never here! Just do what you normally do, and leave me alone! Go live your perfect life with your wife and your daughter and forget about your  _ mistake _ !” 

“Okay, okay,” his dad was holding him as he squirmed, but when Peter finally looked at him head on, his dad wasn’t even watching Peter. He was watching something over his head. 

Peter yelled, thrashing his arms as hard as he could, but his dad held on. It was infuriating. It made his blood turn to acid and his throat burn and burn and burn until he opened it and- 

“Shit, okay,” his dad’s eyes were finally on him, and they were full of panic. 

Peter didn’t understand where the blood spray on his dad’s chest plate came from. 

“Just, just breathe kid, okay? We’re going to- we’re going to figure this out. Dr. Cho is going to-” 

But there was something warm dripping down his chin, and his dad was watching in with terrified eyes, and- and- 

“Full analysis complete,” Friday’s voice cut through the room. “Unknown toxin detected. Administrating sedative now.” 

Peter coughed, “what-“ but everything was already going black. 

His dad’s concerned eyes, as he was lowered slowly to the ground, was the last thing he saw. 

—

Peter woke up to the sound of beeping. His eyes fluttered open, and he glanced around. 

Hospital room, obviously. But why was he here? 

“Buddy? You with me?” 

Peter turned to find his dad holding his hand, his face worried and… guarded? 

“Dad?” Peter glanced around again, no Morgan or Pepper. “What happened?” 

His dad squeezed his hand, “I’m so sorry, Peter.” 

Peter blinked, “huh, why?... Did you put me in here? Was there an accident or…” 

A flash of a memory, Peter shouting and throwing things. Peter sank back in the bed as he realized the last few days had the same fuzzy memories. 

The anger, the blurred thoughts… oh God, that man- 

“Is he okay?” Peter sat up, “the- the purse thief, is he-“ 

“He’s okay,” his dad gave him a pained smile, relief in his eyes as he put a hand on Peter’s chest and pushed him back down, “he has a concussion, and a broken nose, but he’ll make a full recovery.” 

Peter nodded, allowing himself to be pushed back into the bed. He felt horrible for doing that to a random thief. He’d… totally lost control. 

That had never happened before. 

“It’s good to have you back, kiddo,” his dad squeezed his hand again, bringing him out of his own thoughts, “I’ve missed you.” 

Peter gave him a weak, confused, smile, and then his eyes widened again as more memories came back to him. “Oh my God,  _ Dad _ , I am  _ so _ sorry! I didn’t mean-“ 

His dad held a hand up, “you did, the drug may have altered your control, but it didn’t put new thoughts into your head… and that’s okay. Everything you said was true. When you were young…” his dad sighed, “I had no idea what I was doing. I made a lot of mistakes. I left you with May far too often. I… Jesus, I owe you a longer explanation than this, but right now I’m just sorry. I’m so sorry I left you feeling abandoned and… unloved. A mistake. But that’s not true, kiddo. I love you. I love you with my whole heart, I hope you know that.” 

“I do, I know that.” 

Dad smiled at him, but his eyes were watery, “Pete, I know since you got back it’s been different. I know I married Pep, and Morgan takes up a lot of my time, but if you ever need to talk to me, I’m there. In a heartbeat. You just need to complain about a test at school? I’m right there with you, okay? That- that won’t ever change… I’m sorry I didn’t notice you weren’t reaching out. I should have checked on you before this all… blew up in my face. But I know now, okay? And we’re going to spend more time together. Just you and me.” 

Peter nodded, feeling his body relax, feeling his chest rise and fall with ease. He hadn’t felt this good in days. He could seriously just lean back and fall asleep right now. 

“And kid, I know I haven’t been the best at explaining things but… the reason we don’t live in the penthouse anymore is because of you.” 

Peter frowned, confused. He hadn’t even been here when they moved… 

_ Oh _ . 

“I couldn’t stay in that place, see you out of the corner of my eye everywhere I looked… when Morgan was a little one year old, and I was still spending every night staring at your empty room? We had to leave. But that didn’t mean I forgot you or, or  _ replaced _ you. I missed you everyday you were gone. I love you so much, kid.” 

Peter felt a lump in his throat, but when he tried to glance away his dad didn’t let him. Instead he was wrapped in his arms, his head pushed against his dad’s shoulder. 

He hung onto his father tight as the tears streamed down his face. 

“I got you, buddy,” his dad whispered. “You’re probably feeling a bit extra emotional right now because of that weird shit the guy stabbed you with… Uncontrollable, you remember him? Got stabbed and decided not to mention it to your old man?”

Peter nodded against his shoulder. 

“Yeah, that was messing with your brain chemistry. Focused on overblowing all of your emotions. So in the last few days, if you ever felt any anger, or sadness, or.. anything, it was what you usually feel times about 100.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah,” his dad chuckled above him. “It explained.. a lot. By the time I figured out this wasn't some teenage, spider-baby, angst, I was almost too late. The toxin had spread. Your eyes were affected… you were coughing up blood.” His dad sighed. “You’re going to have to stay in the med bay for a few days, but Dr. Cho thinks you’ll be right as rain, soon enough. Mostly thanks to that superhealing you have.” 

He pulled Peter tighter against his chest. Peter realized it must have been pretty scary, seeing him shouting like a crazy person, coughing up blood. 

He was lucky to have a dad who could deal with all that. 

His dad chuckled again, shaking his head, “in hindsight, I probably should have waited a bit longer to tell you all of… everything I just said. It’s still affecting you and you need to rest.” 

Peter tightened his hold on the back of his dad’s shirt. Dad curled around him even more, somehow. 

“Don’t worry kiddo, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Peter closed his eyes, resting his head on his father’s shoulder. 

For the first time in a long time… he believed him. 

—

Peter got a whole day with just his dad before he started asking about everyone else. 

His dad gave him a sheepish smile when Peter did. “They’re all staying in the penthouse upstairs, but I… didn’t really want to share you,” he pushed the hair off Peter’s forehead. “And I thought you could use some extra alone time.” 

Peter grinned at him, “thanks, Dad. I think it’s time to put their worries to rest though, don’t you think?” 

Dad sighed, “fine. But I’m the only one who gets to sleep in here with you, they don’t get to stay the whole time.” 

Peter looked around, “I mean, there’s a lot of space here-“ 

“Nope, they all have to leave after dinner at the latest. Doctor’s orders.” 

“You’re not that kind of doctor.” 

“Silence, child, the adult is talking.” 

Peter rolled his eyes, but he was grinning as his dad left to fetch everyone else. 

It felt good. 

— 

To Peter’s surprise, Pepper was the first person to run into the room as soon as the door opened. She held Peter’s head gently, and pressed a long kiss to his hair. 

Peter blinked back tears as she leaned back and rubbed a thumb over his cheek. 

“I was so worried about you, sweetie. I’m glad you’re okay.” 

He didn’t get a chance to reply before May was pulling him to the other side of the bed for her own hug, and then Morgan was jumping into his lap to bury her face against his chest. 

Peter had a pretty good family. 

He felt light and happy as everyone hugged and kissed him. Until Morgan looked at him seriously and asked, “you’re okay now? No more sad moods?” 

Peter frowned down at his sister, “Morgan, I’m so sorr-“ 

A hand was over his mouth in an instant. “Nope,” his dad said cheerfully, “no apologizing for being drugged by an unknown substance and acting out when no one noticed.” 

Peter tried to mumble past the hand, but his dad wouldn’t let go until he nodded in agreement. 

“I am sorry though,” Peter said, even though it made his dad roll his eyes and raise his hands in annoyance. “It must have been really… unpleasant.” 

“All forgiven,” May said, squeezing his shoulder. “It was forgiven the moment it happened. We knew you weren’t acting yourself.” 

“Okay.” 

“We really missed you, Petey,” Morgan said, curling up against his chest again. 

Peter smiled, felt his chest loosen, and his breath come easily. 

He didn’t feel burning, or blurring, or pain. 

He just felt happy. And home. 

He hugged his sister to his chest and closed his eyes, resting his head against the pillow. 

“I missed you, too.”

—

It was two days later, when Dr. Cho finally said he was well enough to go home, as long as he stayed on bed rest, that Peter was allowed visitors outside of family. 

He almost fell out of bed when Harley walked into his bedroom after Ned. 

“Harley!” Peter squeaked, trying desperately to flatten his hair as Harley looked around his room. He shot Ned a glare that his best friend shrugged, clearly saying, ‘what was I supposed to do?’ 

He ignored his dad’s interested gaze entirely. 

“What-what-what are you doing here?” Peter asked. He tried to sit up as much as possible, but it was hard to look good when you were in two-day old pajamas on bed rest. 

Stupid Ned, not telling him Harley was tagging along. Stupid Dad for not mentioning it either when he’d said Ned was here. 

It was like they were  _ trying _ to make Peter look bad. 

“I wanted to see how you were doing,” Harley said, settling himself at the bottom of Peter’s bed as Ned took the desk chair. “You had us all freaked out when you decked that guy.” 

“Oh, right,” shit, the last time Peter had seen Harley, he’d been out of his mind. How the hell was he supposed to explain that away? “Yeah, that was, uh-” 

“You must have had some pretty intense fever,” Harley said. 

Peter blinked at him. 

Harley glanced between him and Ned. “Ned said you were really sick, with a high fever that made you a bit out of it? That’s why you punched that guy? ...And why you’re on bedrest right now?” 

“Right,” Peter’s eyes widened, glancing over at Ned, “yes. Fever. Sick. That’s why- that’s why all the acting weird. Me. Acting weird. Yeah.”

His dad was grinning like an evil menace over Harley and Ned’s heads. Peter wished the man could just go away, and let Peter die of humiliation in peace. 

“So it’s still messing you up pretty bad then, huh?” Harley said, giving him a once over. “I’m glad you’re feeling good enough for visitors, though. We’ve missed you at decathlon.” 

“You’re in decathlon too, Harley?” His dad asked, leaning against the door and looking pleased as punch. 

Peter wanted his bed to just eat him. Like, right now. 

“Yes’sir. Pete’s the one who asked me to join, at the start of the year,” Harley turned to smile at him. “I’m not nearly as smart as he is though.” 

Peter blushed, and his dad finally left, laughing under his breath. Peter didn’t even care, as long as he had Harley’s eyes still on him. 

The two of them couldn’t stay long before Peter was yawning again, and his dad was back to usher them out, but it was nice. It felt normal, laughing with his friends. 

It felt normal again for his dad to come back to the room and worry over him, too. His dad adjusted his pillows, and got him water. He asked about five times if Peter was hungry before he believed that he wasn’t. 

It even felt normal for his dad to sink down in the chair beside him and give him a shit eating grin. 

“So, Harley’s in decathlon? I knew you had a type.” 

Peter flushed, “I don’t- he’s probably not even into guys-”

“He is.” His dad said, leaning back with a knowing grin. “He likes you, too.” 

Peter froze, his eyes widening, “what? How do you-?” 

“The way you two were making heart eyes at each other? It was obvious. I felt bad for Ned, honestly, leaving him alone in here with you two.” 

“Ned’s fine,” Peter waved, “he’s dating Betty. You really think he likes me?” 

“I know so, kiddo. But when the hell did Ned start dating Betty?” 

“It’s been on and off all year.” 

“Teenagers, can’t keep up with you,” his dad rolled his eyes, but he was grinning as he leaned forward to mess up Peter’s hair. Peter swatted him away, but he was grinning too. The two of them batted at each other until Morgan came in, demanding their attention. 

They ended up all curled together in Peter’s bed, Frozen playing on the TV. 

Peter fell asleep shortly after the movie started, tucked between his dad and his sister. 

It was good to be home. 

—

It was a week later when Peter came home from school to find his dad sitting at the kitchen table. 

Peter glanced around, “where’s Morgan?”

“Pepper took her to a movie, it’s just the two of us tonight.” 

“Oh, okay,” Peter grinned, he grabbed a snack, and was about to head to the lab, when his dad asked him to sit at the table. “What’s up?” He asked, finally taking in his dad’s serious expression, and fidgeted nervously in his seat. “Is everything okay? Is… is that guy okay? Cause you said he would be-” 

“The purse thief is fine,” his dad waved him off, “he was released from the hospital days ago, he’s- it’s not about that.” 

“Oh… then, what’s up?” 

His dad ran a hand over his hair, before he straightened up again, “Pete, buddy, there’s uh… some things that we need to talk about. That I’ve been… waiting until you were older, to talk to you about.” 

Peter frowned, “things like what?” 

“Just some…” his dad sighed, “not excuses, but… I want to explain myself, so you understand more about why… some things in your childhood went the way they… did.” 

“... okay.” Peter said, fiddling with his pizza pop. 

“Okay? We don’t have to- we can wait a little longer, if you want. Or we could find a therapist, do it with someone else in the room. I just- I don’t want us to have any bad blood between us, because you’re important to me kiddo, and I know I haven’t been the best parent, which is why-” 

“No, let’s,” Peter nodded, “let’s do it now. Let’s talk now.”

So they did. 

They talked about how, from the very beginning, his mother hadn’t wanted his dad around. She’d wanted the child support, not a second parent. His dad had only gotten visiting rights because he had some very good lawyers. 

“And I’m not telling you this because I want to bash you mom, kid, she was a  _ good mom _ , I’m just trying to explain-” 

“I get it,” Peter said, eyes on his empty plate. “Just… can we keep going?” 

“Sure.” 

They moved on. His dad explained that he’d been an idiot during Peter’s sixth birthday party because he’d been a nervous mess. Mary hadn’t let him see Peter the two weeks before, and he’d been so nervous he’d taken a few shots and… 

“I fucked up,” his dad shook his head, “that was entirely on me. I know I’ve had my problems with alcohol, and that was one of my biggest regrets. I had Uncle Rhodey drag me to rehab, after that.” 

“I didn’t know that.” 

His dad shrugged, “you were a kid. I didn’t want you to know about that stuff. I still don’t want you to know this stuff, I just…” 

“Want to explain.” 

“Yeah.” 

They talked about how when his mother was dying, she had asked Tony to let her have all her last moments with Peter alone. Tony hadn’t liked it, but he had agreed to give them space. That didn’t mean he left though, his dad had been there. He’d been right outside in the waiting room, the whole time. The night she had died, he’d been in the room not a minute later, picking Peter up and carrying him home in his arms. 

“I… don’t remember that.” 

“You were a kid grieving his mother,” his dad shrugged, “I wasn’t the important part there.” 

Peter nodded, taking that in slowly. 

“I gave her the best doctors, bud, the best money could buy. If I could have saved her-” 

“You would have. I know… I remember that part.” 

His dad smiled at him, “good.” 

His dad went on to explain that… after Afghanistan, after he’d spent months in that cave… he’d send Peter off to his Aunt and Uncle as much as he could because he was a mess. He had PTSD. He had a heart condition. He had convinced himself that being  _ around _ Peter would mean  _ hurting _ him. 

The list went on. And while Peter didn’t like everything they talked about, he was starting to understand. His dad hadn’t ever not loved him, which was something Peter had never fully doubted, he hadn’t even not wanted to  _ be _ there, he'd just been… an emotional mess. 

He hadn’t been  _ able _ to be there. 

“It wasn’t until your Uncle Ben… when I came to the hospital, to find my kid covered in blood, shaking and rambling about not using his super powers the way he should have? Yeah, that’s when I realized I needed to get my shit together. I needed to be there  _ for _ you, I didn’t just need to… make sure you were okay, from a distance.” His dad reached for his hand, and Peter gave it to him easily. “So your Aunt and I worked some things out between us and I… I started to go to therapy, every week. I started to have lab nights with you, on a weekly basis, not just on random nights. I started to… really try. And I know I’m still not the best dad-” 

“You are.” Peter cut in. His dad looked at him in surprise, and Peter nodded, “you are the best dad. You listen to me, and you… actually  _ want _ to spend time with me. A lot of kids don’t have that.” 

His dad smiled, “glad to hear it. But I… I’m still going to keep trying. I still go to therapy, and I’ve set up an appointment for you too.” 

Peter frowned, “really?” 

“You’ve been through a lot, Pete,” his dad shrugged, “talking to me, or May, or Pepper about it helps but… this whole Uncontrollable incident made me realize you have some things to work through. It’s better to start early, believe me.” 

Peter thought about it, “you’ll come with me?” 

“If you want me to. Always.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay,” his dad leaned back, jerked his head to the back of the house. “Want to go play around in the lab now? Forget all this emotional crap for a bit?” 

Peter grinned, “yeah. But first, can I just-” he stood up, and his dad, confused, stood up too. Peter grabbed him in a hug. His dad hugged back, just as hard. “I love you, Dad.” 

“I love you too, Peter.” 

They hugged each other for a long time, and when they pulled away, neither of them mentioned the tears in both of their eyes. 

They spent the night in the lab, fooling around and joking with each other. It wasn’t perfect, but they were trying. 

And that was enough for him. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think with a comment or kudos! :)
> 
> Or, [come say hi on tumblr!](http://happyjuicyfruit.tumblr.com/)


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